Randomly Random

WTF is Wrong With This World?

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 03:46:18 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouKJixL--ms - All I have to say is this is just fucking stupid.

Happy.

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 04:25:28 GMT

Well, I have to say things went fairly well today. We had Academic Team District today at McLean County, and we did very well. Even though we failed to beat Edmonson County (once again), we still placed 2nd in Quick Recall and 2nd Overall. I placed 2nd in Math and 5th in Social Studies Written Assessment. A lot of my teammates placed also, and props goes out to them. For a few of them, this was their first district competition and they all did well. On top of that, Kentucky won their basketball game against Arkansas after coming back from being 14 down in the second half. Maybe they are improving. I hope. But, the best thing that happened to me all day was that Rachael finally said yes and we are dating now. Life couldn't be much better. (I do have a runny nose which is quite aggravating, though. I guess everything can't go well.)

Newness.

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 01:02:14 GMT

So, I started a new blog: http://brian002110.blogspot.com This blog is going to be more serious and intelligent than my livejournal. I will continue to bitch and rant here, though, if you care.

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 06:17:56 GMT

WHY DO I ALWAYS FUCK EVERYTHING UP!?

Life...

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 02:36:08 GMT

Well its a new year (I am a little late with that one), and so far nothing special has happened. I am still having the best school year of my life, especially with the recent news that I got a $10k a year scholarship to Transy, which isn't bad at all. It is more than I expected and I am quite pleased. But, while things seem great, there are always those little things that you always worry about and stress over. Of course, there is college and what I am going to do the rest of my life. Personally, I have no clue. First of all, I have to worry about how I am going to pay for college. I have the $10,000 scholarship from Transy, and I know I am going to get plenty of grants and stuff. But, I am not going to get that many outside scholarships (I am hoping to get at least one), and I have no clue how I am going to pay for the rest of college if I don't get that much money. Even after I do figure out how to pay for it and I start going to college, I still have no clue what I am going to do with my life. I want to major in history and foreign language, but where that will take me I don't know. There aren't many professions out there that want people with that kind of major besides a teacher obviously. No one specific field of work has ever caught my eye and made me say, "Wow. When I get older I want to do that." It kind of worries me that I have no sense of direction of what I really want to do with my life. It makes everything seem so purposeless - like I am living my life for nothing in particular.
And of course, there is always that one thing in the back of every guy's mind that bothers them constantly - girls. Yeah, yeah. I know. You don't really want to hear about it. But, do I care? No. So shut up. I just have one question. Am i really not that attractive? I know that I am overweight and that I may come across as an ass, but damn. Is there even one girl in this world that somewhat likes me in any sense? I don't believe there is, and that really disappoints me. I know that it is something that I shouldn't worry about, but I always do, as does every other guy. I am done rambling for now. How I managed to keep politics, religion, or bashing someone out of this post, I don't know. But I did and that makes me happy.

Yep

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 01:55:03 GMT

I got my acceptance letter from Transy today. It wasn't a surprise. I knew I would get in. Yet I have a great feeling of pride and content. Its an odd feeling. I am excited about the future though. College is getting closer, and I can't wait.

Its one of those times.

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 02:39:31 GMT

Christmas. A time of giving; a time of sharing. Well, thats what it was supposed to be. Now, its just a time for people to take a break from their mundane lives and have a little fun. Believe me, I am not complaining. I don't know what I would do without Christmas. But, this holiday always brings me some sadness - the reason for this being the whole idea of presents of giving. All my life I have known that my family was a little on the poor side. No big deal. I could manage, and I am still here so I guess that is proof. This year is a little different, though. In case all of you don't know, my dad had triple-bypass surgery a couple months ago and things haven't been that good since. For one thing, the surgery didn't go too great. Not only did he have to have bypass surgery, but he also got a bad case of pneumonia and one of his lungs collapsed. So, that complicated things a little. Since he got home from the hospital he has been improving little by little, but he still has a lot of problems with his blood pressure and just breathing. This isn't the bad part though. We all know that with time and rehab he will be doing better in no time. The bad part is that we have no money coming in. Well, let me take that back. My mom works at Trim Masters. So, we do have a source of income but not enough to support 6 people, especially when one is in college. My dad has tried to sign up for disability and social security and all of those good fall-backs that our government is supposed to supply for people in need, but none of it has been successful. His heart doctor still expects him to go back to work this week and start being a carpenter like nothing ever happened. I keep asking myself how in the world he is supposed to do this when he can't even walk 10 steps without having to stop and breathe.
In writing this I am not asking for any sympathy. I don't want it. You can keep it for yourself. I am just getting stuff off of my chest which has been bothering me a lot lately. I figured this was the best way to do it. But, out of all my problems that I have had in life, I say this one has to be the worst. It sucks being poor. It really does. I can deal with having a dysfunctional family, being fat, and not being accepted by many people. But, I am having a hard time dealing with this. It sucks to know that you can't go out and have fun with your friends or even rent a movie, much less pay your bills and support your family. I know that this has to be killing my mom and dad, but it kills me too. I can't help but think about my little sisters and the life they will have if this continues to progress. This happening around Christmas time doesn't help much either. Christmas is the one time of the year where you are allowed to have all of the fun you want and just relax. But, its hard to do that without money. Getting presents for friends is impossible, and that really sucks. I have the best friends anyone can ask for, and it would be really nice to get them something for Christmas, but I can't. Right now we don't even have enough money to get my little sisters hardly anything for Christmas, and that really blows. The one thing you look forward to all year as a kid is Christmas, and to know that they won't have a good one isn't fair. It just isn't.

Well...

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 04:41:40 GMT

It has been a really long time since posted on here (about 3 months); and to tell you the truth, not much has happened. But, I guess that is the story of my life. Nothing ever seems to happen here in the middle of nowhere, and that disappoints me much. I am still alive though, which is always a good thing. And in case you care (Nobody does. Who am I kidding?), here is a recap of this school year so far: It has been fun. LOL. None of my classes are that great from an intellectual viewpoint (Hackley can't teach English; Calculus is a joke; French is full of dumbasses; and don't even get me started on Political Science). But, from a social stance, life has been pretty good. My friends and I (such small group it is) have been having a lot of fun. The reason for this being that its our senior year and we are running out of time to hang out and act like kids. One of the worst realizations that have hit me this year - I only have one more year (not even a whole year) to be a kid. After I leave high school I will have to grow up and become an adult. Ugh. I cringe at the thought. I have always said that I wanted to grow up and be on my own and do adult things, and I still want to. But not right now necessarily. It finally seems like this year I am getting a hold on my life and figuring out who I am as a person, and then its off to college. No time to enjoy this feeling. It sucks. At the same time though, I feel more mature and grown-up than ever before. It is an odd combination of emotions, and yet somehow I feel so stable. I have also discovered a lot of things this year that have always been there; I just haven't noticed them until now. Especially people and their true selves. I have been able to see how people actually are and their real personalities. Sometimes it has been a good thing, but most of it has been bad. I have known most of my friends for a very long time, and it is shocking to me that I have just now noticed how they truly are. Oh well. I guess it is just another part of growing up.
And of course, those life questions still linger with me as always. Questions like: What is life? How did it start? Who in the fuck started it? Why in the hell are girls like they are? Why can't I get a girlfriend? Why do I have to be fat? And, how in the hell can George Bush and the US get any worse? The sad thing is, none of these questions have been answered this year. A lot of debate has come up over the topic of religion. I have found that it is a very touchy subject with me, which is odd considering I am not a religious person. Well, I really don't know what I am to tell you the honest truth. I have always found it difficult to be one of those people who believe everything that is told to them without questioning it. Thats the reason why I can't settle on a religion. First of all, I have no clue who created the Earth, how they did it, when they did it, or why they did it. Nobody does, and no one ever will. This is one question I will always be asking myself. Secondly, why in the hell are religious people such hypocrites. They preach love, peace, loyalty, and helpfulness, but how many of them actually practice this? Not many. I have found that hardcore Christians are the most judgmental, hateful people I have ever met. They are not open-minded at all. Everyone who is not exactly like them and who differ in their beliefs are evil and are going to hell. Whatever. Give me a break. Geez.
Girls.... yeah. Well, I don't have much to say here except that I don't have a girlfriend and I will never understand how they think. Yet no matter how much they annoy me and piss me off, I still find myself fascinated by them. LOL. There are girls out there I like, yes, but none of them will ever give me a chance. Why? Because I am fat. What kind of reason is that? Yeah, I am fat. Not real fat, but fat. Do you think I am that way by choice??? Sure. Thats exactly it. I like being fat. Its fun to have people crack jokes at you all the time and not being able to get a girlfriend. Maybe you should try it sometime. You would have a blast. Since when did people start worrying about image only? I'll tell you when. When the media and television were invented. LOL. Damn television.
Anyway, I think I am done rambling for tonight. Maybe will start posting again, maybe not. I guess it just depends on what mood I am in. Not like anyone cares anyway. Only 1 or 2 people will read this, and then they will think I am crazy. Oh well. I don't care anymore. Later haters. (LOL. I am so black).

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 20:38:04 GMT

I know that this is my last year in high school and that I am 17 years old, but why does that make such a difference in how I feel about life now. Everything seems so much more important now, even the little things. School is going great and I am having the time of my life there. But,what I think is getting to everyone is their emotions. Sure, we have fun at school while we are hanging out with our friends, but that is mostly because we forget about everything else. We are just living in that moment and have no other worries at that time. But, when we sit around at home and get to thinking about things, our emotions overwhelm us. I know that mine do, and I think that I am speaking for a couple of other people as well. I think that right now two things are bothering me really bad. First, there is the pressure of college: where am I going to go, what I am going to do, how am I going to spend the rest of my life? Then, there are girls. The problem that every guy has at all times. Yet, for some reason, right now seems to be the time which they seem the most important. I have a girlfriend, and she is great. I love her with all my heart. Over this summer she has helped make my life what it is. But, the one problem we have is that ever since she started Indy racing stuff, she has been really busy and doesn't seem to have that much time for me. It doesn't help that she moved to California and is only here every once in a while. I would love to have a girlfriend here where I could be with her all the time and have lots of fun. But, to tell you the truth, I don't believe that any girl here is interested in me at all. And I know that no one is reading this, so they aren't going to know that I do care what people think about me, even though I may not act like it. It is all a facade. LOL. Oh well. Enough ranting for now. No one cares anyway and I have made myself sound like a huge idiot.

Ugh.

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 01:19:12 GMT

I HATE CALCULUS!!! IT FUCKING BLOWS!

Sorry, I forgot an Important Piece of Information.

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 04:47:32 GMT

Magan and I are going back out. How great is that? She is amazing, and I couldn't love her more.

Ugh.

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 02:36:32 GMT

Fuck life. It sucks. But, personally I don't care right now. Life can sit on the back burner and leave me alone for a while. This year has been great so far: my friends and I seem closer and are having more fun, I have had virtually no homework, and I am going to have fun, damnit - no matter what! So take that Life, and shove it up whatever hole you have that you excrete waste from!

It's over....

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 06:08:36 GMT

I knew it would happen eventually, I just wish it wasn't now when my life was going so good.....

ACT!!!

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 02:47:09 GMT

I GOT A FUCKING 33! HELLS YEAH!!!

Love is Crazy.

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 22:53:45 GMT

You know, I never thought that I could feel this way about a girl that I have never actually met in person. But, I do. I haven't gotten to talk to Magan in about a week, and then she got on MSN today. I wasn't in my room though, and I almost missed talking to her by the time I actually saw that she had IM'ed me. But, i did get to talk to her, which is the great thing. I was beating myself up for not being in my room and seeing when she got on. I really missed her, and I didn't realize how much until just now. I think that I am really in love, as odd as it sounds.....

How can life be so great yet horrible at the same time!?

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 05:42:05 GMT

Well, it has been a really long time since I posted, but oh well. Who cares? I know no one reads this anyway so....whatever. Anyway, since the last time I posted nothing at all has happened. Except for one thing. I have a girlfriend, and she is the greatest, most amazing girl that I have ever met. Her name is Magan (or Brittany, whichever you want to call her - LOL - long story), and I can't explain the feelings I have for her. Meeting her was probably the best thing that has ever happened into my life, which is awesome. I could go on and on about her all night, but I don't think anyone would care how corny I can be. Other than that, my life has pretty much sucked. I have been home on summer break for about 5 weeks now, and I have done absolutely nothing at all. NOTHING!!! I am bored out of my fucking mind. If I don't do anything soon, I am going to go insane. I have sat here in the middle of nowhere for the whole break, and I can't stand it any longer. My "parents" won't let me get my license, which blows. I could have had them almost a year ago. Oh well. I will be 18 in 8 months. LOL. I have already waited 10 months, 8 more should be nothing. I am tired of ranting now, so I am going to stop.

Argh.

Fri, 07 Apr 2006 02:27:17 GMT

You know what I hate? You are watching a TV show and then it goes to commercial. But, there is also another show on at the same time which you would also like to watch. So, you turn it over on that show and it also goes to a commercial. It pisses me off. I believe it is a government conspiracy to get you to watch the commercials. But, I can beat the government. I hate commercials so much that I just turn it on another show no matter how crappy it is. Eat that government. I will never watch your crappy ass commercials. Mwuahahahaha.

Well, the adventure starts once again...

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 04:56:33 GMT

I've decided that I am going to start posting on here again. And I know that probably no one will read these, but personally I don't give a shit. I am posting for my own enjoyment, and I could care less if you do read them. The only other thing I am going to say tonight is: I need a fucking life.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 00:21:29 GMT

ONLY 2 MORE DAYS LEFT OF FALL BREAK! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! It is now when I finally come to the conclusion that I have absolutely no life. When you sit at home all of break and do nothing and it all slips by so fast, you have no life. Since I'm doing absolutely nothing, time should be in slow motion. Or at least I thought so. I'm not even having fun and time is still flying by. That scares me. I don't know if its just me, but it seems like the older you get the less time you seem to have. That really bites. Well, at least I'll get to go back and join civilization once school starts back. Living out here in hick country is just like going back in time and living with cavemen. I like to hang around with people who actually know how to count on their fingers and toes at least.

UNBLOCK ME!

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 07:06:31 GMT

UNBLOCK ME YOU BASTARD!!! Please. Thank you.

Late Night Rush

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 06:15:12 GMT

I'M BORED OUT OF MY FREAKIN' MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I'M RUNNING ON PURE ADRENALINE! NOT A GOOD COMBINATION TO BE BORED AND WIRED AT THE SAME TIME. NO, NO, NO - NOT GOOD AT ALL. COULD LEAD TO BAD THINGS!

Well...

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 01:12:06 GMT

I've already figured out that this whole fall break is going to be a waste of time. I haven't done anything so far besides work on a research paper (AARRGGHH!!!) and watched a bunch of sports on T.V. Now, I found out that a friend wants me to go up to Indiana this weekend to his house and help him fix it up so it will be easier to sell. I don't think I would waste a weekend and do it, except for the fact that he has helped me a lot and taken me to a lot of places. Also, I guess I may have pissed one of my friends off for some reason because they have blocked me from posting on their livejournal. I think it may be because of something that I posted before, but I was just kiddin around with him. I even said so at the end of the post. Oh well, just more "High school drama" to go with the rest of my life. At least it helps past the time and adds something different to an otherwise plain break. I hope that I actually get to do something or go somewhere before break does end, or I might just go insane. I haven't done anything in a while now, and it is really bugging me since i have a break now and should take advantage of the opportunity before school and homework start back. Well, I don't know what I'll do. But, I do know that I'm going to switch CD's since this one is now over.

??????

Wed, 05 Oct 2005 06:27:20 GMT

This week has been odd so far. As I already told you, I went over to a friend's this weekend to work on a school research paper. We wound up not getting much done (partly thanks to me). But, we did run around a lot and toured the county. Stupid band and stupid color guard. And stupid his mom for losing the sign sheet. Anyway, Monday night was a usual late night. You know that funny argumentative stage that everyone gets in when they are really tired and have stayed up pretty late. Well, I was in one of those stages. And, of course (as my late nights almost always turn out), I started questioning the existence of God. So, i went into a religious chat room and all i had to do was say, "GOD DOESN'T EXIST!!!" and it made me the most popular person in there. I love arguing with religious fanatics. They think they know everything about their religion and have a firm stance in it until you actually start to talk to them and get the better of them. What pisses me off is that they don't get angry. They just shut up. I can't stand that. Oh well. At least I got to have some late night fun. And if you want to know my theory on God, here it is: God is a figment of stupid people's imaginations, someone they made up to explain their existence and how they got here - because as you know people don't like not knowing things and not being right about things, especially when it comes to how you are living. If they make someone up, then they can't be wrong and they have an answer. Stupid people crack me up and piss me off at the same time. I hate fuckin stupid people. But, if it wasn't for stupid people, we would have no smart people, I would have to do physical labor for a living, and we would have no comical relief in life. For that, I am grateful. But, other than that, i hate fuckin stupid people. Well, I guess that is enough for tonight. - Oh, one more thing. GEORGE ORWELL SUCKS HUGE ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow!

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 16:05:40 GMT

What a weekend it has been! Saturday was spent all day watching college football (Go Notre Dame!) and Sunday was spent over at a friends house doing homework. What kind of teacher gives a student homework over fall break!? Anyway, did I tell you how much I hate George Orwell and the Spanish Revolution. Well, I do. A Lot. Research papers blow. They are purposeless. I could have spent my Sunday doing something productive, but instead I had to pledge my whole day to reading about George Orwell and every moment of his life, especially his involvement in the Spanish Revolution. The fuckin' guy wasn't even Spanish - He was British! Why the fuck was he fighting in the Spanish Revolution. Oh well. At least we have our 50 notecards (no thanks to me) and now just have to worry about our 30 minute presentation. School blows. I hate being smart and taking all of these "A.P." classes.

Finally!

Sun, 02 Oct 2005 05:25:47 GMT

This is my first journal entry. I've been wanting to do something like this for a long time and just hadn't gotten around to it. It feels good to have finally accomplished something that I've been wanting to do, even if it has taken me forever. Maybe I have defeated my life long battle with procrastination? Nah, this wouldn't have been accomplished if it wasn't 12:30 A.M. and I had nothing better to do. Well, I'm done.